to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
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A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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