It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
