i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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