if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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