I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
