Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
