Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
