I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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