My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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