I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
