Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This baby is an asshole
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
