Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
