it wasn't lemon gatorade
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
