READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Alive.
So much puke
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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