man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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