we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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