I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize