Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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