The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
