I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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