I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
