Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
