Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
