I can't watch pbs sober anymore
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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