He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
