She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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