All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
