i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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