I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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