that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize