it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
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