He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
