you would pick up someone in the library
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
