people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
