do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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