so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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