I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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