He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
