I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
