Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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