We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
