Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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