Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
