I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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