you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
