I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Umm I'm too high to move.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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