how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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