mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
