well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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