Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize