Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
