May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
