quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
