I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i permit you to call me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
