I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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