Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
