she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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