I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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