i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
