It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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