hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
