I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
