when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
