turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
